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超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯（通用17篇）
冷笑話是近幾年才出現的新興語言現象，它以網絡為主要的傳播方式。它是幽默的一種特殊的表現形式，主要流傳于網頁，微博，貼吧等。下面是小編帶來超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯，歡迎閱讀!
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 1
When we work evenings .we often order take-out food at the office.One night we all gave our orders to Sharon, who wrote the selections on a self-stick note. Unable to find our list when she arrived at the fastfood restaurant, Sharon stepped up to the counter. But before she could speak, the cashier recited the exact order. " How could you possibly know that?"asked Sharon.
在我晚上上夜班的辦公室，大家常常訂些外賣食品來吃。一天夜里，我們都找沙倫訂了食品。她把訂單列在一張不干膠的紙條上。等她到了飯店時，怎么也找不到那張訂單了。沙倫走到柜臺前，還沒等她說話，收銀員就背出了所有大家訂的東西。沙倫問:“你怎么會知道這些的呢?”
"Tts right there," replied the cashier,"stuck to your chest."
“它就在這兒，”收銀頁說:“貼在了你的`胸前。”
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 2
When we decided to sell our house, we nailed "FOR SALE BY OWNER" signs on two trees in our front yard. Before long，the doorbell rang.”How much are you asking for the treesp"a young man asked.
我們決定賣掉我們的房子。于是，我們就在院前的'大樹上釘了兩塊牌子，上面寫著:“拍賣。”沒過多久，我們的門鈴就響了。一位年輕人問:“你們的樹想賣多少錢?”
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 3
Some friends and I stopped at an ice-cream parlor.where I asked for my favorite，a hot-fudge sundae with chocolate ice cream. But when the waitress brought our orders，I saw that mine had vanilla ice cream. " I ordered chocolate,"I pointed out.
我和一位朋友來到一家冰淇琳店。我要了一個我最喜歡吃的巧克力奶油圣代。當女招待送來我的冰淇淋時，我發現我的冰淇沐是香草的。我說:“我要的是巧克力的。”
The young woman consulted her order pad and responded，"So you did. Ill take it back and get chocolate."
那位年輕的.女士查了一下訂單回答說:“你確實要的是巧克力的。我把它拿回去，再給你拿一個巧克力的。”
“Never mind，”I said.”I dont like to see anything wasted."
“沒關系，”我說:“我不想浪費東西。”
"Nothing is wasted around here!"she insisted.“We eat our mistakes. "
“這兒什么也浪費不了，”女招待堅持說:“我們吃掉自己的錯誤。”
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 4
About to be shipped out on a long tour of duty over-seas，I had called my wife from a coin-operated telephone at an Army camp on the West Coast. As I walked away，the phone rang，and I answered it，expecting to be told of extra charges. "I thought youd like to know,"the operator said,"that just after you hung up，the woman said,I love you. "
即將因工作遠征出海，我就在西海岸軍營地用一個投幣電話給我的妻子撥了個電話。我剛要離開，電話鈴響了。我估計是讓我交超時費，所以只好去接。接話員說:“我想你可能想知道，你剛掛斷電話，那個女的就說‘我愛你’。”
超爆笑的`英語笑話帶翻譯 5
My parents tour leader asked everyone to put their large suitcases outside their hotel rooms at bed time so the bus could be loaded for an early departure the next morning. Mom laid out their travelling clothes，repacked their things，took out her hearing aid and went to bed. Dad stepped into the hall to line up their luggage and the door clicked shut behind him，leaving him there in only his underwear.
我父母的導游負責人讓大家在晚上睡覺前把箱子放在飯店的房門外。這樣，化們可以在次日的凌晨早裝車，早出發。媽媽鋪開了旅行時穿的衣服，重新打了包。取下了助聽器睡覺去了。爸爸要去大廳放行李，門咔嚓一下在他身后撞上了。他只穿著內褲，束手無策。
"It sure was embarrassing，“he told us later.”Your mother couldnt hear me，so I had to go downstairs and across the street to the office to get another key.”
他事后告訴我們:“我的確很尷尬。你媽媽她又聽不見，沒辦法，我只好下樓穿過街到辦公室去要另一把鑰匙。”
"But, Grandpa.”our son piped up.”What about the clothes in the suitcase you put in the hall?"
“但是，爺爺，”我們的兒子說:“那么你為什么不穿放在大廳的箱子里的.衣服呢?”
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 6
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft(閣樓) and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.
Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry(鐘樓) and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated(熏制) , and they still won’t go away.
The third said, I baptized(洗禮) all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!
三個南部的牧師在一家小餐館里吃午飯。其中的'一個說道：“你們知道嗎，自從夏天來臨，我的教堂的閣樓和頂樓就被蝙蝠騷擾，我用盡了一切辦法----噪音、噴霧、貓----似乎什么都不能把它們趕走。”
另外一位說：“是啊，我也是。在我的鐘樓和閣樓也有好幾百只。我曾經請人把整個地方用煙熏消毒一遍，它們還是趕不走。”
第三個牧師說：“我為我那里的所有蝙蝠洗禮，讓它們成為教會的一員......從此一只也沒有再回來過。”
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 7
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(長聲尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! Im going to have one of those someday, his dads response always was Not as long as Im alive.
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! Im getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.
我五歲的兒子對摩托車有強烈的愛好。只要看見一輛摩托車，他就會高興得哇哇直叫，并激動地說：瞧這輛!瞧這輛，我總有一天也要有一輛。他爸爸的.回答老是只要我活著，你就別想有這玩藝兒。
一天我們的兒子跟他的小朋友在說話，有一輛摩托車開了過去。他興奮的指著摩托車叫道瞧這輛!瞧這輛!等我爸一死我就要有這樣一輛摩托車了。
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 8
A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.
Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.
His wife hears the commotion, knows that he cant swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?
A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?
小學四年級的教師正在給學生們上一堂邏輯課。她舉了這么一個例子：有這樣一種情況，一個男人在河中心的.船上釣魚，突然失去重心掉進了水里。于是他開始掙扎并喊救命。
他的妻子聽到了他的喊聲，知道他并不會游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。誰能告訴我這是為什么? 一個女生舉手答道，是不是去取他的存款?
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 9
Will and Bill were quarrelling about whose father was the stronger.
Will said, "Well, you know the Pacific Ocean ? My fathers the one who dug the hole for it."
Bill wasnt impressed, "Well, thats nothing. You know the Dead Sea ? My fathers the one who killed it!"
維爾和比爾在爭吵，誰的'爸爸是更強壯的一個。維爾說：“你知道太平洋嗎?那個坑是我爸爸挖的。”
比爾不屑地說：“那沒什么。你知道死海嗎? 那是我爸爸打死的。”
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 10
Returning from a golf outing(遠足，短途旅行) , my husband was greeted at the door by Sara, our four-year-old daughter. Daddy, who won the golf game? You or Uncle Richie?
Uncle Richie and I dont play golf to win, my husband hedged(避免作正面答復) . We just play to have fun.
Undaunted, Sare said, Okay, Daddy, who had more fun?
丈夫打完高爾夫球回來，我們四歲的女兒莎拉在門口迎了上去。爸爸，誰贏了高爾夫球比賽，是你還是理查叔叔?
我和理查叔叔打高爾夫球不是為贏，丈夫推諉說。我們打球只是為了好玩而已。
莎拉毫不氣餒，又問：那么，爸爸，誰覺得更好玩呢?
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 11
Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals(長聲尖叫) of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! Im going to have one of those someday, his dads response always was Not as long as Im alive.
One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! Im getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.
我五歲的兒子對摩托車有強烈的愛好。只要看見一輛摩托車，他就會高興得哇哇直叫，并激動地說：瞧這輛!瞧這輛，我總有一天也要有一輛。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活著，你就別想有這玩藝兒。
一天我們的`兒子跟他的小朋友在說話，有一輛摩托車開了過去。他興奮的指著摩托車叫道瞧這輛!瞧這輛!等我爸一死我就要有這樣一輛摩托車了。
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 12
At a dinner party a shy young man had been trying to think of something nice to say to his hostess. At last he saw his chance when she turned to him and remarked, "What a small appetite you have tonight, Mr. Jones.""To sit next to you," he replied gallantly, "would cause any man to lose his appetite."
在一次晚餐聚會上，一位靦腆的年青人一直在冥思苦想對女主人說一些好聽的話。機會總于來了，女主人轉向他說：“瓊斯先生，您今晚的飯量太小了。”“坐在您身邊，”他殷勤的說道，“任何男人都會失去胃口的'。”
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 13
While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, What does hybrid pulse D/A converter mean?That means, she said, that this machine will read the digital information that is encoded on CDs and convert it into an audio signal - that is, into music.In other words this CD player plays CDs.Exactly.
在購買我的第一部CD唱機時，我能夠解讀推銷標記上面的'大多數技術語言。但是有一個標示卻讓我頗為迷惑，于是我叫過銷售商，問道：‘混合脈沖D/A變換器’是什么意思?它的意思是，她說，這個機器能夠讀CD碟上加碼的數字信息，將它轉換成聲音信息-也就是說，轉換成音樂。換句話說，這個CD唱機能夠播放CD碟。正是如此。
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 14
The great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch(故障) arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was completed, the patron(贊助人，主顧) was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub(涂抹，涂料) of brilliant red.Whats this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage.Thats it, replied Hogarth.But, where are the Israelites?They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?Theyre all drowned.
一天，有人請這位偉大的畫家畫一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫剛開始不久，酬金就出現了問題。霍迪斯發現，完成這幅畫后，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的錢。當作品完成之后，那位主顧被請來看畫。其實，這幅畫不過是胡亂涂抹的.一片鮮紅。這是什么?那位買主喊了起來。我要的是紅海，是那次著名的航海。這就是，霍迦斯回答說。可是以色列人在哪兒?他們都已經渡過去了。埃及人在哪兒?他們全都淹死了。
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 15
My husband, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so that he would be able to monitor my moods. When I’m in a good mood it turns green. When I m in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.
我的丈夫對我時常波動的情緒很不高興。所以那天他給我買了一個心情戒指，那樣他就可以從戒指上看出我的心情。當我的心情好的時候，那個戒指就會變成綠色。當我的.心情不好的時候，在我丈夫的額頭上就會留下一大塊紅色的戒指印。
超爆笑的英語笑話帶翻譯 16
一場特殊的足球比賽
Mike was late for school. He said to his teacher, Mr. Black, "Excuse me for my coming late, sir. I watched a football match in my dream."
"Why did it make you late?" inquired the teacher.
"Because neither team could win the game, so it lasted a long time." replied Mike.
麥克上學遲到了。他對布萊克老師說：“對不起，老師，今天早上我遲到了。因為我在夢里觀看了一場球賽。”
“為什么它會讓你遲到呢?”老師問道。
“因為這兩個隊都沒有能力獲勝，所以就持續的時間長了。”麥克回答說。
超爆笑的`英語笑話帶翻譯 17
two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
"look," said the elder brother. "how nice these paintings are!"
“看，”哥哥說，“這些畫多漂亮呀!”
"yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. where is the father?"
“是啊，”弟弟說道，“可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢?”
the elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "obviously he was painting the pictures."
哥哥想了一會兒，然后解釋道：“很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。”
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